"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
We have started to decorate penises.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
Randomize
