I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
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