tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
Tip for today: never try to fart and swallow at the same time. You'll end up choking on whatever you are currently swallowing and shit yourself from the freakout of choking.
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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