Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
Randomize
