But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
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