arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
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