if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
