And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
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