Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
Randomize
