If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
I said "one day" and that day is not today
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
Randomize
