just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
I will die if light touches me.
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
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