Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
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