Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
