I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
Randomize
