did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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