I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
Randomize
