I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
Randomize
