I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
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