Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
i now understand why vodka
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
Randomize
