the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
no you cant smoke seaweed
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize
