my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
Randomize
