I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
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