Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
Randomize
