What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize
