Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
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