from now on my penis is your penis
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
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