they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Randomize