i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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