dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
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