how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
Randomize
