Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
Randomize
