Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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