you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
