have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
Randomize
