Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize
