I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
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