Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize