I wish I could teleport
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
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