Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
Randomize
