I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
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