if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
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