All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize
