He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
Randomize
