well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
Randomize
