it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
Another day, another engagement, another cat
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
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