Swine flu. Run for my life!
Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize
