I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
