I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
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