i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
She kept calling me her DD, which I assumed meant designated driver, so I was confused because I don't even have a car. Found out later it means designated dick. It's what her and her friends use as code for the guy they want to hook up with at the end of the night. I feel so used.
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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