If I had a nickel for every time I've used a condom, I'd have... two nickels.
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
