Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
he puts the penis in happiness.
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
Randomize
