stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
i wish starbucks made bloody marys
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
Randomize
