Pregnant stripper...not hot.
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
