me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
As shirtless as possible
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
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