it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Randomize
