seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
Randomize
