In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
did i just pee glitter
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Randomize