We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
Randomize
