dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
Randomize
