i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
Randomize
