Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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