Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Randomize
