yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Randomize
