I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
Randomize
