wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Randomize
