just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
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