I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
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