Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
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