I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
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